Monday, September 16, 2013

Life

I have not written for a really long time.
Lots of stuff has happened. Most specifically Mom made the leap into your realm. I am lost. I miss you, I miss her. I feel alone. Sometimes I wonder how easy it would be if I could just join you and mom.

I wish you were here. I need to talk to you. My daughter thinks I am some sort of evil bitch. I have no clue what I have done wrong. Her children talk to me only when they need or want something. Obviously I made some pretty big mistakes when the kids were growing up.

My son and his partner are here now. And all of their kids. I am so worried about the little kids. They have no concept what life should be like. You go to hug them they have no idea how to hug. No one tucks them into bed or reads to them. It is really sad.

Wish you were here.
R

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

October 08

I came out to Alberta to see your wife & the boys. It's hard to leave...harder to leave now that my truck has broken down.

It has been an experience this time. We took Teddy to the vet and had her put to sleep. But if what I want to believe is true then you already knew that cause Teddy would be with you. It was hard...Andy is depressed about it. October truly sucks. We all really need you to be here.

I was looking at property. There is a really nice farm for sale. I think we could swing it if we sold both of our places. We will see what Pat says.

Love
R

Sunday, August 17, 2008

After church

Mom has said she thinks she might quit going to church cause it's just too hard to get in and out of the truck, too hard to walk. If she would do her exercises there would be an improvement in her ability to move. But mom flat out refuses to do her exercises. I think she really like to have something to complain about. She loves the martyr role.

I don't know I think we will have to move her into our house. We will see what Dr Piver says on Wednesday.

TTYL
R

Sunday, August 17, 2008

So this morning I went to get mom for church, I had her pills with me. She was sitting outside waiting... I told her I would get her some water so she could take her pills. She said I took them already. I asked her how she could do that when her pills were at my house. She said she took some of the lunch time pills that she had forgotten to take last week. ARGGGGGHHH. I told her she couldn't keep doing that...she has to take her pills like they have been prescribed. No wonder we can never keep her blood pressure at an even level.

James I wish you were here to yell at her. I know it would accomplish nothing but it would make me feel like I was not alone caring for her.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Thur Aug 14, 2008

WooHoo Mom took all of her meds today. At least they were not in the blister pack. I can never be sure that she is not stashing them somewhere. Drives me crazy. Anyway if she really took them all her blood pressure was a bit high.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wed Aug 13, 2008

Well James, I've decided that this is my medium for talking to you as I don't have a psychic living in my spare room.

Today once again, I went to take mom's blood pressure only to discover that again she has not taken her pills properly. I have an appointment to talk to her doctor. I am getting very concerned. Even though her pills are bubble packed she is still messing them up.

I hate to treat her like she is a two year old but I just don't know what else to do. Perhaps you could send me a sign (ha ha ha)

Hopefully she takes her pill properly tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I am really resenting the fact that you are gone. Even though it was not your choice. I am angry. I have been left behind to deal with this on my own. We agreed a long time ago that caring for mom would fall on us. The rest of our siblings would not step up. But now it's just me----cause you are gone.

It totally sucks. I hate it that I am becoming my mother's parent. Telling her when to take her meds, when to bath, when to wash her clothes and going to all of her appointments and sitting in cause she would not tell the doctors what is wrong.

Today was a disaster. I still have to work even when she needs medical care. There is no relief. James you were suppose to be here to help.

I do not want mom to end up in a warehouse for the elderly. But I need some relief. I need for her to understand what it costs. Emotionally and financially. She does not have a clue.

Our siblings will not even respond to the emails I have sent. They are avoiding my phone calls. I won't call again.